History of the band

The Exploding Breakfast Society - a historical overview

Many, or at any rate a very select few, have wondered about the origins of the venerable organisation referred to as The Exploding Breakfast Society. Little is known, and we are perhaps all the better for it. However, a few clues have survived for posterity, telling a fragmented and unsettling tale of the beginnings of this mysterious group of people (or entities to that effect). Hidden in a box that once contained a pair of burgundy coloured wellington boots, a team of dedicated historians have discovered a crumpled, severely burned, and half eaten piece of paper. Using an unorthodox technique known as lactophysical supposition, the excited researchers were able to discern a rather badly drawn seven legged badger, along with the following message, written by a hand obviously rendered unsteady by overwhelming emotions:

“And a year is but a second seen at an angle. Somewhere a long, tall, short while ago a quiet man turned to a silent friend and turned away again, in disbelief and inspiration, and the world was born anew. Spikey, Mildred, Twitch the cheese, Sumatra Trevor, and the rest of that lot, all gathered in one infamous muddle. The common good being the tall order of the day, they knew measurements had to be taken, and not a button too soon. Lines to be drawn, words to be drawn as well. Plans to be put to rest. What useless employment would serve them best, at this precious juncture, this morning-after-last-night of life? The manufacture of owls? The taming of asparagus? The misuse of assorted household objects while emitting disconcerting noises? Ah, the antediluvian aspirations of creating a universe fresh out of the box, a pop of the cork that defies all description. And by what mortal name could one possibly refer to such a sacred undertaking? The Combustible Collation, The Eruptive Egg and B, The Silent Bangers and the Booming Mash, The Detonating Beans on Burning Toast; suggestions there were, and plenty of them too. But time stretched like the proverbial rubber band, as did our beloved band of xylophonic miscreants. Order was short and time precious. ‘Oh, but for the grace of Rod’ exclaimed a slightly nearsighted tuna fish in the last stages of the Tuesday blues, and that pretty much settled the matter. ‘The Exploding Breakfast Society’ was the name, the pursuit of subhuman happiness the mission. Now wipe your mouth. But don’t laugh.”

There the inscription ends and we are left with even more questions that we, probably, would prefer to leave unanswered. According to some sources, mentions of “The Society of the Exploding Breakfast” or “The Porridge that Knew no Boundaries” are to be found in ancient Egyptian manuscripts, as well as in the disenchanted scribbles on lunch menus at Bernard’s all-you-can-eat tea room in Slough. In the end, the mystery remains, The Exploding Breakfast Society transcending, seemingly, the barriers not only of time and space but, ultimately, of common sense itself. Let each proceed further at their own peril.